she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
