Can Purell be used as lube?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
