YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
