just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize