Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
