I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize