Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I feel great
I just peed on a car
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
