So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
