idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
