you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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