it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
