That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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