i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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