you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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