There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
