Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize