so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
