There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
