It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
