I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
