by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Come see our sink grown plant.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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