I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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