He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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