I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
