my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
