I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the day after is always just damage control
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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