im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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