Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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