I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
