Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
bring money and cleavage
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
