Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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