Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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