is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
