I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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