I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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