She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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