I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
