I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
