yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
