you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
