just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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