so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
