But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You smell like stripper and shame
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
