cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
