Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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