Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
