My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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