I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
