it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize