I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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