We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
