Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
it's like iHOP with fire
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
