Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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