is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize