dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
dude. I can hear the air.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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