No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
