Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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