clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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