I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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