We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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