I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize