I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
